i’m just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like
i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair!
it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.
but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want.
so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.
he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut.
i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.
tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of what’s on THEIR body! /rant
Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies.
This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you can’t get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years.
but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.
Leave kids hair alone.
I’m going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their children’s hair creep me the fuck out and I’m not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, “annoying talking doll” status.
I loved my daughter’s long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut short ‘like a boy’(she was four) I took her to the salon and let her whack it off.
The stylist was skeptical, ‘are you sure?” and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girl ‘are you sure you want it cut short?’ She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And it’s been short ever since.)
Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred
there is a reason that so many of us who’ve experienced trauma will reclaim control over our bodies and our selves by cutting and dying our hair. it’s part of us. it’s part of our expression. that’s vitally important to people, especially kids, who are still early in the process of learning how they fit into the world around them.
““The law discriminates against rape victims in a manner which would not be tolerated by victims of any other crime. In the following example, a holdup victim is asked questions similar in form to those usually asked a victim of rape. “Mr. Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the corner of 16th and Locust?”
“Yes.”
“Did you struggle with the robber?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“He was armed.”
“Then you made a conscious decision to comply with his demands rather than to resist?”
“Yes.”
“Did you scream? Cry out?”
“No. I was afraid.”
“I see. Have you ever been held up before?”
“No.”
“Have you ever given money away?”
“Yes, of course–”
“And did you do so willingly?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Well, let’s put it like this, Mr. Smith. You’ve given away money in the past–in fact, you have quite a reputation for philanthropy. How can we be sure that you weren’t contriving to have your money taken from you by force?”
“Listen, if I wanted–”
“Never mind. What time did this holdup take place, Mr. Smith?”
“About 11 p.m.”
“You were out on the streets at 11 p.m.? Doing what?”
“Just walking.”
“Just walking? You know it’s dangerous being out on the street that late at night. Weren’t you aware that you could have been held up?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“What were you wearing at the time, Mr. Smith?”
“Let’s see. A suit. Yes, a suit.”
“An expensive suit?”
“Well–yes.”
“In other words, Mr. Smith, you were walking around the streets late at night in a suit that practically advertised the fact that you might be a good target for some easy money, isn’t that so? I mean, if we didn’t know better, Mr. Smith, we might even think you were asking for this to happen, mightn’t we?”
“Look, can’t we talk about the past history of the guy who did this to me?”
“I’m afraid not, Mr. Smith. I don’t think you would want to violate his rights, now, would you?”””
From a historical website about the history of Saris, from a person WHO MAKES THEM FOR A LIVING
“Visitors seduced by the vibrancy and mythology of saris can shop for one to take home. Unlike other traditional garments in some cultures, the sari isn’t reserved for people of one nationality or set of beliefs. “I don’t think it’s disrespectful for Westerners to wear a sari,” says Chishti. “It’s more of an honor.” There is nothing wrong with sewing a dazzling one into a skirt or displaying it like art on a wall, says Sethi.“
Website 2 - a website dedicated to asking “is wearing them disrepectful?”
Is it disrespectful to wear a sari? No, not at all. Based on any occasion, as a daily wear, when you are not Indian and irrespective of religion, it is never disrespectful to wear a sari. In fact, it enhances the situation particularly if you are attending an Indian wedding. In cases where a theme is already set and hosts do expect certain culture, check with hosts before wearing.
Website 3 - Google’s Arts and Culture website, dedicate to educating people about different things around the globe concerning art and culture
5. The sari is easy to wear – and can be worn by anyone
Wearing a sari is more akin to making a sandwich or sending an email than making a soufflé or launching a rocket. It has the appearance and reputation of being difficult to wear, but ask any one of the millions of women who wear one every day – it’s not. The sari transcends socio-economic divisions and is seen as an egalitarian garment…It can’t speak on behalf of all India but 95% of our survey suggested that {people from India} are open to anyone wearing saris.
(sari vs saree for reference sake is just a matter of preference for spelling).
Literally the only people fake outraged by this (I call it fake outrage because people only get “mad” about it when they see people online but totally forget aobut it in everyday life otherwise) are white girls on twitter, tumblr, and other social medias believing they are “coming in and saving the day on behalf of people from India”. STOP THE WHITE KNIGHTING.
For starters, Saris have over 100 different ways to wear them. To buy them traditionally tends to be very rare and expensive because of how hard it is to make these garments. Second, they’re becoming more common in areas close to India, like Sri Lanka.
Also, also, according to Hinduism reincarnation beliefs, we have the ability to reincarnate into any person on this Earth, so any skin color. Some people wear them to show their pride in Hinduism. Some wear it to honor India ancestors. Some wear it just because it is a beautiful piece of fabric.
Like anything, wear it with respect. Wear it with pride.
Reminding people again that you cannot steal what is freely given. It’s not appropriation if someone within the culture is like “here ya go, try this!”. I get that wearing stuff like a sari feels like you’re an impostor but the way to deal with that is to just do the thing that makes you uncomfortable.
I used to live in a city with a large Desi population, and loved going into the local shops to see the gorgeous clothing (and to buy silk fabric and ready-made trim!). I showed interest in a lehenga choli set and the ladies working there were. Thrilled. I ended up spending well over an hour trying on different ones because they were just bringing them over one after another, narrowing down the style and colors that would be flattering on me, showing me how to wear it properly.
I wore the one I chose to a convention, and encountered an Indian woman running a henna booth and selling some jewelry. At first I felt kind of embarrassed, like an imposter. (Should I (Latinx) be wearing this?) But she was also thrilled to see someone wearing clothing from her culture, and just… gave me a maang tikka, because it went so well with the outfit. (I ended up purchasing the necklace that went with it, so maybe it was a shrewd business move, ahaha)
It’s the same with kimono, people from Japan are so excited to see an American properly wearing one, even ‘just’ a yukata.
Appropriation is stealing cultural designs and motifs for your mass-produced fast fashion, taking money away from their artisans and devaluing their product. Appropriation is trying to divorce clothing from its cultural roots.
So long as it is common clothing (not sacred or having a special meaning), and as long as it is worn with respect (preferably sourced directly from the culture it comes from), we should be enjoying the beauty of other cultures by wearing it on our bodies. Sharing is not appropriation!
It’s important to recognize problematic appropriation but that does not mean we need to segregate every aspect of culture into neat racial categories
“In my youth,” reminisced the old man, scratching his beard thoughtfully, “I was quite the quirked up white boy. No one in the village could best me at busting it down sexual style.”
“And were you goated, sir?” the young boy queried.
“My dear boy, I most certainly was!” The old man chuckled, a merry twinkle in his eye. “With the sauce, I daresay.”
It used to be way worse. The porn ban and the superwholock diaspora got most of the horribly toxic users to leave for the greener pastures of TikTok and Twitter. Nowadays Tumblr is controlled by a loosr federation of transgender twenty something’s with graduate degrees, and the wizard council.
I like this Tumblr much better actually. I can just blog about magic without feeling obligated to adhere to some sort of gimmick.
The porn ban was genuinely an incredible loss. Many of my friends are sex workers that I met through Tumblr. It destroyed dozens of wonderful niche communities that still haven’t recovered and likely never will.
Crucially though, it convinced all the people who do stuff like have arguments over South Park porn, to fuck off somewhere else.
Broke: Barbie’s many different careers are a way to sell dolls and accessories to little kids.
Woke: Barbie had every single one of those careers and is an immortal timeless being.
Bespoke: Barbie’s different careers are different versions of Barbie from across the multiverse who occasionally swap place with each other or combine into one Barbie.
SO THERE’S SOMETHING Y’ALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT…
Attack of the clones
I have often used Barbie to explain Greek mythology, and people laugh until I explain it, and then they get really serious and thoughtful.
I say, “The Greeks ascribed aspects to gods. Apollo had many aspects, but all were Apollo. He’s like Barbie that way. She’s an astronaut, a veterinarian, and a rollerskater, but no matter which of those things she is in the moment, she is always still Barbie. She is Barbie in her aspect as.”
Then people get not only the idea of “aspects” of godhood, but also, well, the changeable yet eternal nature of Barbie.
don’t get me wrong I love Benedick and Beatrice so so much, but I never seeing anyone talking about how wonderful Hero and Beatrice’s dynamic is?? Hero has a reputation for being this sweet angel but if you look at her lines, even though they’re short and flowery, she’s always ALWAYS teasing her cousin. she knows EXACTLY what going on in her head and she knows it the whole time. Hero’s literal first line is her like rolling her eyes and saying “yeah my cousin is talking about Benedick. again.” don’t get me started on Hero’s ridiculous garden performance to make Beatrice to realize she’s in love with Benedick. she’s so underratedly funny and Beatrice LOVES her. she loves her!! she’s the first one to notice Hero is fainting at the wedding, she’s the first one to call for help, she probably catches her in her arms as she’s telling everyone that she knows her cousin better than anyone, that they share a room together! they’re never separated! they probably stay up every night with Hero trying to drag emotion out of poor Beatrice who covers everything she means in six layers of jokes!! Beatrice tells her uncle she swears on her soul that Hero is innocent after he disowns her in front of everyone they know. Beatrice doesn’t think twice about this, she doesn’t care about the consequences, she doesn’t worry about whether the only family she has will disown her, too. she just does it. and when none of that works, Beatrice asks Benedick to fight for Hero’s honor. that moment is so, so pivotal for Benedick and Beatrice. it’s crucial. but you can’t understand how much it means unless you understand how much this girl loves her cousin first.
