tumblr is full of phrases that we are all so desensitized to that they’re just normal, but if you say it to a person in real life its so funny to them its a one-hit insta kill
This is about when I said “Everything I know about [coworker] I have learned against my will” and everyone thought it was so fucking hilarious
other things i’ve unwittingly said that made everyone around me lose it include
There’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s throw away the whole suitcase
Bold of you to assume that I [i forget what it was but others got a kick out of it]
beginning in at least 2014 infotainment systems in the company’s vehicles began downloading and storing a copy of all text messages on smartphones when they were connected to the system.
An Annapolis, Maryland-based company, Berla Corporation, provides the technology to some car manufacturers but does not offer it to the general public, the lawsuit said. Once messages are downloaded, Berla’s software makes it impossible for vehicle owners to access their communications and call logs but does provide law enforcement with access, the lawsuit said.
Yikes. Your car is probably keeping all your text messages and sending them to its manufacturer if you connect to your infotainment system.
“You don’t have to be that gung-ho on trans rights to realize that a world where girls’ genitals need to be inspected before they can play any sport is worse for girls than a world where once in a while there’s a trans girl on a girls’ team.” —Evan Urquhart
you know what actually pisses me off? when I finally start to feel a smidge of confidence in my writing ability and then some JERK POSTS A SINGLE LINE FROM A TERRY PRATCHETT NOVEL AND IT’S BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER WRITE NO MATTER HOW MANY MILLENNIA I SPEND TRYING!
Terry was a professional writer from the age of 17. He worked as a journalist which meant that he had to learn to research, write and edit his own work very quickly or else he’d lose his job.
He was 23 when his first novel was published. After six years of writing professionally every single day. The Carpet People was a lovely novel, from a lovely writer, but almost all of Terry’s iconic truth bomb lines come from Discworld.
The Colour of Magic, the first ever Discworld novel was published in 1983. Terry was 35 years old. He had been writing professionally for 18 years. His career was old enough to vote, get married and drink. We now know that at 35 he was, tragically, over half way through his life. And do you know what us devoted, adoring Discworld fans say about The Colour of Magic? “Don’t start with Colour of Magic.”
It is the only reading order rule we ever give people. Because it’s not that great. Don’t get me wrong, very good book, although I’ll be honest I’ve never been able to finish it, but it’s nowhere near his later stuff. Compare it to Guards Guards, The Fifth Elephant, the utterly iconic Nightwatch and it pales in comparison because even after nearly 20 years of writing, half a lifetime of loving books and storytelling Terry was still learning.
He was a man with a wonderful natural talent, yes. But more importantly he worked and worked and worked to be a better writer. He was writing up until days before he died. He spent 49 years learning and growing as a writer, taking so much joy in storytelling that not even Alzheimer’s could steal it from him. He wouldn’t want that joy stolen from you too.
Terry was a wonderful, kind, compassionate, genius of a writer. And all of this was in spite of many many people telling him he wasn’t good enough. At the age of five his headmaster told him that he would never amount to anything. He died a knight of the realm and one of the most beloved writers ever to have lived in a country with a vast and rich literary tradition. He wouldn’t let anyone tell him that he wasn’t good enough. And he wouldn’t want you to think you aren’t good enough. He especially wouldn’t want to be the reason why you think you aren’t good enough.
You’re not Terry Pratchett.
You are you.
And Terry would love that.
I only ever had a chance to talk to Terry Pratchett once, and that was in an autograph line. I’d bought a copy of The Carpet People, which was his very first book, and he looked at it with a faint air of concern. “You realise that I wrote that when I was very young,” he said, in warning.
“Yes,” I said. “But I like seeing how authors grow.”
He brightened and reached for his pen. “That’s all right then,” he said, and signed.
“LOL. You think your vote matters? ROFL and LOL.” Yes, I am aware my vote carries less and less relative power the more people I’m voting with, but unlike your glorious violent revolution, it actually exists.
The Glorious Violent Revolution fantasy is the Rapture for leftists.
You know what the real glorious revolution looks like? It looks like writers and actors on the picket lines every day, Starbucks and McDonalds and Wendy’s workers walking out of work until they get conditions that aren’t working inside of an oven, UPS workers fighting to get AC in their vans for increasingly hot summers and also driving around in ovens. It looks like kids walking out of schools and into congressional halls in support of their friends being increasingly silenced and threatened for their race, gender or sexuality. It looks like people getting arrested for handing out warm meals to the homeless. It looks like people risking their lives, homes, and jobs to prevent a forest being bulldozed so a fascism training ground for foot soldiers gets built. It looks like several thousand people fighting and getting imprisoned and murdered so their lands aren’t co-opted for one more goddamn oil pipeline. The “glorious revolution” is dozens of actions happening all around, right now, on dozens of fronts. Just because it isn’t violent is no reason not to pick a front and join in.
idk why but i feel like being a punk is for he/hims and doing ballet is for she/hers
Bibliography
dykeparasite (2023) Barbie (2023) is to she/theys what The Lego Movie (2014) is to he/theys. I can’t explain it but it’s TRUE., Tumblr. Available at: https://dykeparasite.tumblr.com/post/714005432703877120 (Accessed: April 14, 2023).
• 2,000 Hellfire missiles for Apache attack helicopters. The Lockheed Martin precision-guided Hellfires are being used more and more extensively by Israel now that its ground operations in Gaza dominate the war.
• 30mm chain gun ammunition, also for Apache attack helicopters. General Dynamics manufactures the latest ammunition.
• M141 shoulder-fired bunker-busters, officially “bunker defeat munitions,” the Western equivalent of Hamas RPGs and designed to engage targets at short range. “Bunker buster” as described in the news media is a bit misleading as the munition is used at 250 meter range to attack above-ground fortifications.
• 75 Joint Light Tactical Vehicles, manufactured by Oshkosh Defense.
• 300+ Tamir interceptors, used for Israel’s “Iron Dome” system, and manufactured by Raytheon (RTX) in cooperation with Israel.
